Bumpy Roads..

"Faking a smile hurts as much as crying does"

Hey you.

Yea,you.

The person who made me love you.

You know how much is it to see you happy and I know it's because of her?

Yea.I'm happy you're happy.

I'm so selfish.I know.

But it wasn't my fault.

I wouldn't have cared and love you this much if you just told me the damn truth.

Now,it hurts.

To still remember the sweet lies you told me.

To such an extent I believe them till I let them blind me.

You love her so much.You could have told me.

We could have been best friends.

But you made me fall in love with you.

I know you're not a jerk.

Damn it.

You're a very sweet and caring person.

It's just hurt to see you still want her.

Does she wants you?

Haha.I should ask myself the same question.

Do you want me?

Since,it seems like I'm still waiting for you.

Even though I fake that perfect smile.

I perfected showing blissful happiness.

I fake it.Everything.

I don't want you to be guilty of what you did to me.

But that seems to be eating me up alive.

Gosh.

I tried liking other guys.

I tried.Oh how much I tried.

But seeing that smile of yours just brought so much tears to my eyes.

I don't expect you to love me out of sympathy.

I don't expect you to stop loving her.

I just want you to read this.

I smiled.

I laughed.

I cried.

I cursed.

You asked me.

YOU.Not me.

I'm sorry.

Everything I'm saying now might be making you feel guilty.

It should but you're not the bad guy.

You're just too nice.

And you fell in love with a girl who you don't know loves you back or not.
You made a girl love you because... I don't know why you made me love you.
I don't regret it.
I smiled remembering the times we had.
No matter how short it was.


I missed you.
How you cared about me.
But then again.
That was all merely lies.sweet lies.
I don't know.
I cried enough but I still cry.


When I saw you today.
I smiled because I finally meet you.
But.
You wanna know why I acted all shy?
I remembered.
Everything came crashing down.
I remembered you never meant a word you said to me.
How everything felt like bees stung on my heart.
And when you smiled at me.
You didn't know how much it made my heart leap and fell hard.
I miss you.Oh how much I miss you.
But,you miss her.Don't you? :)
I don't blame you.I guess you truly love her.


I want to be a friend.a sister.
But all of that seems impossible to me now.
I can't get rid of my feelings for you.
One day,i will.
But I don't know when that one day will come.


I prayed to Allah SWT.
I tried my best,Mr.F but as I said.
I can't forget you.
I'll never stop asking Allah to make me like you as a friend.
InsyaAllah,Amin.
But if you and I are destined to be together.
Subhanallah.that's fate itself.
I can't say much.




Whoa.This is a long post.
Proof that girls emotions are very dragging,haha.
see ya people.
I have tuition :)